I've always have a dream. a dream since I was a kid, to live in my dream country - a.k.a the United States. Once, my dream has almost become true, until I asked my self whether I'm ready or not to be apart thousand miles away from my family and friends from my hometown. and the question is: NO.
Sometimes, I kinda regretted my past decision, not to leave my home country. Maybe I was too immature back then. And maybe I'm ready right now. But then, on the other hand, there are wayy tooo many "if(s)" banging on my head. what IF........ how IF....... those that I couldn't bear.
People told me to pursue my dream. But when I ask myself: "issit really the dream you really really want?" I couldn't even answer it.
Humans' basic needs are to love and to be loved. If my loves are separated by one long distance,
could I live without them? For they are the breath of my life.
Until now, I keep thinking "how IF that time I took that opportunity to live in the country I've been dreaming of for ages? or "what would have happened to me now IF I've lived there" and still, too many "IF(s)" keep wandering around in my head.
I often console myself that this is the best way. That decision I took is not (and never) wrong. That IF I were to live there, I wouldn't stand it (especially not to see my loves until a certain period of time)
I guess life is never gonna be as easy as when we are still kids, huh? *deep breath*
Does that mean that I have to bury deep in the dream of mine? Or should I forget it and try to find 'another' dream I should pursue? or should I just wait until I have that courage to live my dream? Just like Walt Disney said: "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."